Big Fat Crescent Rolls, yeah

I think it’s time to give Charlotte another haircut.

Although I do think she makes a good hardcore rocker.

We gave Char her first haircut last summer. She was born with a full head of hair, and by 4 months she had a lovely combination of long side wings with the classic bald spot in the back, above a rockin’ mullet. A true backstache. We were blinded by being adoring parents. It took my sister-in-law Sandi to come into town to finally wake us up. She said that Charlotte looked like an infant combination of Benjamin Franklin and Smeagol.

Today I had a recipe failure. It was one I had been looking forward to making for a really long time, so I was totally bummed that it didn’t work out. I made it right, it just didn’t taste very good. You know something is wrong with a recipe when after the first bite you think, Well, maybe if I added . . .

And now my house smells like an Indian bus stop. (Or at least what I imagine them to smell like). I went to the store and it followed me. My hair reeks of curry. Don’t get too close to me until I find a shower.

These little beauties, on the other hand, always turn out perfect. And the only side effect is your house smelling like heavenly rolls. I can throw down about a dozen of these in one sitting. They are absolutely addictive. They are a little time consuming but are totally worth all the effort.

I titled this “Big Fat Crescent Rolls, yeah” because Eric originally wrote the recipe in an email while his mom dictated it to him on the phone, and this is what he titled it. I edited out all the other slang (mix it in the kitchenaid, yo) but in my mind I can’t call them anything else.

Big Fat Crescent Rolls

Source: my mother-in-law Kris

2 tablespoons yeast
1/2 cup warm water
2 cups warm milk
1/2 cup butter
1/4 cup sugar
2 teaspoons salt
2 eggs
6-7 cups flour
1/2 cup melted butter, for brushing

Combine the yeast and water in a large bowl. Warm milk in the microwave for about 1 minute, stir, then add the stick of butter to the milk and continue microwaving for 45 seconds or so. The butter doesn’t need to melt all the way, just get it soft. (If you start with softened butter you can skip microwaving it. I never have soft butter :)

Add the milk, butter, sugar, and salt. Mix on low speed until combined (if you are using a Kitchenaid, use the paddle the whole time. If you are using a regular mixer, eventually you will have to mix it by hand) Add the eggs and beat thoroughly. Add 6-7 cups of  flour, one cup at a time. The dough is very loose and sticky; it will not come together in a ball. Mix it for about 2 minutes.

Remove the paddle, cover the bowl, and let it rise for one hour.

Mix it down and pour it out onto a very floury surface. You can add more flour to the dough if it is completely unmanageable, but remember it is supposed to be sticky.

Divide the dough into fourths. Roll each fourth into a large circle, between 12-15 inches. Brush melted butter generously over the circle. Use a pizza cutter to divide it into 8 pieces, pie-like. You should get 8 triangles.

Starting from the large end of each triangle, roll the triangle, butter side up.

Place the rolls on greased baking sheets, about 2 inches apart, with the tip of the triangle on the bottom. Cover and let rise at least another half hour, more if your kitchen is cold.

Bake at 375 for 10 minutes. And to quote Kris, They puff up real nice :) Brush with more melted butter as soon as they are out of the oven, and jam one in your mouth as fast as you can.

Makes about 32 rolls.


20 thoughts on “Big Fat Crescent Rolls, yeah

  1. No it was NOT your ginger chicken!!! I am going to make that this week though. No, this recipe was one for curried smashed potatoes and it called for 5 TABLESPOONS of curry. I like curry, but I guess I don’t like it when there is enough to permeate my skull. So where does that put us? This is my 42nd post so it sounds more like it’s 42-0.

  2. Wait, wait. Indian ginger chicken?! I love you, K-Dizzle (Sorry, your “mix it in the KitchenAid, yo” of earlier stuck me in a fake rapper/gangsta frame of mind), but I think it’s time for a guest post, courtesy of Nathan, with that ginger chicken recipe as the star. It sounds delicious. Word to your mother.

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  7. I will be making twelve dozen of these today. Yes. Twelve dozen. The perfect roll for any holiday occasion. I love these and they remind me of my mother’s classic holiday crescent roll.
    P.S. NO, I am not going to EAT twelve dozen, I have three different places they are going. And none of them are “my stomach.” Haha.

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  10. Lina, Cora and Mia made this all by themselves! The only thing I did was turn on the mixer. They rolled out the dough after I showed them how and cut it and sprayed the pan and followed the directions minutely. They even cleaned up! (Haha–clean up means that they spent fifteen minutes cleaning and then I chased them away and cleaned everything for real.) They started at 4:30 and finished at 9. Funny, huh? We were so late getting to bed. Lina did not get to practice her violin or anything. I did not have to provide any other entertainment, that’s for sure!

    • That is so awesome! They are very ambitious, these are no muffins. I’m so glad they had fun! And PS they were delicious.

Thanks for the comments, foodies!

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