We gave Char her first haircut last summer. She was born with a full head of hair, and by 4 months she had a lovely combination of long side wings with the classic bald spot in the back, above a rockin’ mullet. A true backstache. We were blinded by being adoring parents. It took my sister-in-law Sandi to come into town to finally wake us up. She said that Charlotte looked like an infant combination of Benjamin Franklin and Smeagol.
Today I had a recipe failure. It was one I had been looking forward to making for a really long time, so I was totally bummed that it didn’t work out. I made it right, it just didn’t taste very good. You know something is wrong with a recipe when after the first bite you think, Well, maybe if I added . . .
And now my house smells like an Indian bus stop. (Or at least what I imagine them to smell like). I went to the store and it followed me. My hair reeks of curry. Don’t get too close to me until I find a shower.
These little beauties, on the other hand, always turn out perfect. And the only side effect is your house smelling like heavenly rolls. I can throw down about a dozen of these in one sitting. They are absolutely addictive. They are a little time consuming but are totally worth all the effort.
I titled this “Big Fat Crescent Rolls, yeah” because Eric originally wrote the recipe in an email while his mom dictated it to him on the phone, and this is what he titled it. I edited out all the other slang (mix it in the kitchenaid, yo) but in my mind I can’t call them anything else.
Big Fat Crescent Rolls
Source: my mother-in-law Kris
2 tablespoons yeast
1/2 cup warm water
2 cups warm milk
1/2 cup butter
1/4 cup sugar
2 teaspoons salt
6-7 cups flour
1/2 cup melted butter, for brushing
Combine the yeast and water in a large bowl. Warm milk in the microwave for about 1 minute, stir, then add the stick of butter to the milk and continue microwaving for 45 seconds or so. The butter doesn’t need to melt all the way, just get it soft. (If you start with softened butter you can skip microwaving it. I never have soft butter :)
Add the milk, butter, sugar, and salt. Mix on low speed until combined (if you are using a Kitchenaid, use the paddle the whole time. If you are using a regular mixer, eventually you will have to mix it by hand) Add the eggs and beat thoroughly. Add 6-7 cups of flour, one cup at a time. The dough is very loose and sticky; it will not come together in a ball. Mix it for about 2 minutes.
Remove the paddle, cover the bowl, and let it rise for one hour.
Mix it down and pour it out onto a very floury surface. You can add more flour to the dough if it is completely unmanageable, but remember it is supposed to be sticky.
Divide the dough into fourths. Roll each fourth into a large circle, between 12-15 inches. Brush melted butter generously over the circle. Use a pizza cutter to divide it into 8 pieces, pie-like. You should get 8 triangles.
Starting from the large end of each triangle, roll the triangle, butter side up.
Place the rolls on greased baking sheets, about 2 inches apart, with the tip of the triangle on the bottom. Cover and let rise at least another half hour, more if your kitchen is cold.
Bake at 375 for 10 minutes. And to quote Kris, They puff up real nice :) Brush with more melted butter as soon as they are out of the oven, and jam one in your mouth as fast as you can.
Makes about 32 rolls.